Lets talk about baby making! No, not the fun kind. Most people have heard something about In Vitro Fertilization, IVF. The magical medical creation of test tube babies (although it’s actually a petri dish, not a test tube). While the specific procedures and protocol can vary there are some basic components to every IVF cycle. Now, keep in mind that I am not a medical professional, just sharing my general knowledge about this crazy process I’m about to dive into. Here we go: the basics of IVF.
Step 1: Suppression, getting those ovaries ready. Ironically enough, this generally involves taking birth control. Part of this is to control the timing of when the IVF cycle starts, but the main point of suppression is to quiet the ovaries so they are ready for the next step – stimulation!
Step 2: Stimulation. For anyone who might not remember every detail about the reproductive system from health class – generally the ovaries produce one follicle each month which releases an egg that can then be fertilized. Stimulation essentially kicks the ovaries into high gear to create multiple follicles. (By multiple I mean A LOT, the nurse coordinator told me to expect 10-20). More later on why so many follicles are necessary when it only takes one egg to get pregnant. This step involves a lot of medication, mostly by injection. Also, most of the appointments for IVF are during the stimulation process – blood work and trans-vaginal ultrasounds every other day and then daily until the follicles are nice and fat. And when the shit ton of follicles are all fat and ready?
Step 3: Egg Retrieval. This step starts with – you guessed it – another injection. This trigger shot lets the ovaries know it’s time to release all those eggs. But how do we get embryos in petri dishes? the actual egg retrieval involves sedation, and then the doctor aspirates all of the eggs by sticking a needle through the vaginal wall the reach the ovaries. I am not a big fan of anesthesia, but I’m pretty happy I get to sleep though that particular needle. This is also the day that sperm is collected, I’m going to assume you can figure out how that happens (yes, he masturbates into a cup). Once we’ve passed all of our goodies to the doctors they throw them together in a petri dish for fertilization.
Step 4: Embryo Transfer, putting those babies back where they belong. Than pretty much sums it up. The fertilized embryos, which are usually 3-5 day old blastocysts on transfer day, are deposited into the uterus though a cervical catheter. The embryo transfer is usually one or two embryos, because no one wants to octo-mom, and the remaining embryos are frozen (these can be used down the line for a frozen embryo transfer).
Step 5: Waiting. Alright, so this isn’t an actual step, but I think it counts. After the transfer you wait, almost two weeks, to go in for a pregnancy test.
I guess after the pregnancy test it’s either start designing a nursery or planning for a frozen embryo transfer (assuming there are embryos left, which isn’t always the case). So there you have it, my rundown of the IVF process.